TIME COP THEORIES
In 1994, one of the best sci-fi films of all time was released staring the most famous Belgian since Audrey Hepburn, the incomparable Jean Claude Van Damme as a can you guess time cop, (shocking) that is sent through time to investigate time travel crimes. The movie plays out as one would expect though with a few curious scenes where a certain critic mused, " "For once, Van Damme's accent is easier to understand than the plot" and the even more curiously appearances of actual acting talent by the split legged European enforcer of justice. What really stands out about this movie is the way it handles the concept of time travel.
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| That and Van Damme! 's awesome hair! |
Time travel is a plot device that has seen more air time than the whole switching bodies dramatic comedy or the much more nauseating boy girl beat friends who figure out they are right or each other and often treat one or both of their significant others awfully. Travelling to the future for me has never been that compelling, the future is yet unwritten and so we can construct in any way we want and yet for some reason, Hollywood seems to think we're all headed to a life of tinfoil clothes and flying cars,which if you've ever driven in any major city (Kampala wassup?),would be tantamount to giving a box of mechanical tools to a roudy bunch of 3 years olds and being shocked when one of them is found stapled to the ceiling. Travelling to the future always seems ultimately depressing. Either we have become a bunch of automatons or living in a post apocaplyptic world with ofcourse a black American president (in his defense, he's half black ), where people are entertained by he utterly bizzare (reality tv anyone?) and a world on the brink of utter chaos(insert the price of sugar). Usually it is a man from the present that goes to the future and teaches everyone about humanity and love and rainbows and all that stuff. Not fascinating enough. Travelling to the past has way more interesting issues. For one, if you went to the 16th Century Paris and sneezed, wouldn't you in effect destroy human civilization?Wouldn't any action you commit in your own favor such as ,letting yourself know that you should NOT kiss that girl, or that you should invest in some silly sounding company called google or that burning all those shiny jeans you were rocking in the 90's is of the utmost importance, effectively change you as you did them and therefore possibly altering the path you took to getting a chance to travel through time?Would you find that your parents really did walk 10 miles to schools that were built away from any forms of civilization for some reason?The most interesting bit, other than getting to watch Shaka Zulu demolish his opponents, would be gettign to talk and see myself at 21.
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| Who are you, you handsome devil?Why do I want to make out with you soo much!! |
And this is where Time cop takes the pastry of choice, in my opinion. When Belgian round housemaster from 2004 comes eye to eye with 1994 Belgian round house master. The rule being, they cannot come into physical contact because that would cause a gliche in the time space continuum causing both bodies to merge and dissolve into nothingness. But really grabs me is the look on bot their faces, which Jean Claude does perfectly. The look of total disbelief, shock, and a hin t of wonder if he is losing his mind that is conveyed in 1994 Belgian vs somewhat detached road worn vaguely surprised look on 2004 Belgian's face. The look of innocent earnestness vs realistic and cynical. The hope of a better tomorrow meeting the hard reality of knowing he was much happier in the past than he could ever be in the future. It's the best part of the movie, because it's the closest to a real reaction. It's the part I wonder about.
What it would be like to stare into my eyes with a ten year gap in between. A decade of regrets and lessons and contact lenses and to see if the spark is still in my eye. What if given a few seconds face to face with my younger or older self would I say?What gem could be imparted?What sad realization or hopeful inspiration could be given or derived?Would I like myself?But more importantly, in this time of rehashed movie plots, when are they going to make another damn time cop movie!!!!
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