Every Refuge has its price: My visit to the Prophet Mbonye- led Fellowship of Remnants

 UG@50:
Of failing flags and cognitive dissonance.

In thinking about this past Independence Day, and in response to a great blog post by the lovely Lynn Turyatemba -http://lynntu.blogspot.com/2012/10/independence-my-countrys-mine.html?spref=fb, I find I’m unusually optimistic for us. It’s not over the top, but a salient feeling of "We’re going somewhere.", however awkwardly and lethargically and with a vague idea of the destination. I was afraid for a second there that I was ambivalent, somehow anesthetized against  caring about this nation attaining self reliance and glory all it's own because all it seems to bring is continual heart ache.

With every headline about corrupt officials stealing billions right above teachers demanding for a living wage, the hope took a punch to the gut. For every moment of hope like the fact that we have a freaking Kampala carnival at last, we awake to hear another mysterious fire has razed a cultural site or a 10 minute downpour has resulted in flash floods in certain suburbs. It’s cognitive dissonance on a mass level to love something that causes you so much heart ache.

It’s in the fatigue of keeping a positive spin of things that we find ourselves in now. I personally try to avoid apathy because it’s just nihilistic and far too depressing. This doesn’t stop me from having ebbs and flows in my feeling towards this country and all it’s beautiful and not so beautiful people (You know yourselves). Some days I am overwhelmed at how we just get on with the business of living, and enjoying what we have in life. At how it’s true that Ugandans are warm people, that we know how to celebrate even the tiniest accomplishment-which may not be such a good thing. How people work hard, but few work smart. How we are spiritual and yet so cruel to those not subscribed to our ways of thinking.

I watched the entire broad cast of the independence celebrations and was on twitter the whole time making comments about how marching is really something we only need to see form the Chinese when they’re hosting the Olympics and event then that’s pushing it, how many embellishments and political talk of progress aimed at sugar coating the bitter pill that we’ve not done anywhere close to as much as we should have in the 50 years we’ve been out from under the thumb of the Queen.

As thoughts on whether celebrating the passage of time as if it were progress flew through my mind, it comes time for the raising of the Ugandan flag and as if on cue, calamity. Well not exactly, but awkwardness of a considerable degree (which had been the order of the day given that several performing artists would hear in mid performance, “first stop there and we introduce this arriving delegate from this country”. “Okay now continue”) occurred. The flag did not go up smoothly.

As if harboring some ill will to the occasion, the flag stubbornly refused to open and fly proud. Unlike its fellow flags that were doing their thing, our symbol of independence appeared to be ashamed. As if it knew that in order to truly represent the state of our land, it had to struggle, had to stumble and frustrate (not just the poor soldier tasked with having it fly).

But eventually, it just opened up and flew and there it was the Crane. On it’s one leg, not off balance but graceful. The parallels with what Uganda is draw themselves. We’re stumbling and bumbling and  frustrating, but in the end, a gust of wind , a move of inspiration comes along and e find ourselves flying proud in spite of it all.  Perhaps in the next 50 years, the flag will be less shy to do its thing and the nation will finally be through its growing pains. Happy Independence Day, UG. Here’s a little U2 for the next 50…

"You're on the road, but you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
you've been all over
And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day

Don't let it get away"