The Road To Black Adonis part A-Nga you're fat!!!!

Of the many memories I have of high school, one that I recall very vividly involves me talking to one of the coolest girls in school. You know the one with the fading British accent that had transferred to the school because her rich father was no working in Uganda. She was walking slightly behind me as we left the dining hall and I was on top form making a round of jokes that were hitting the mark. I was Eddie Murphy, I was Bill Murray, I was Pablo from that first season of Uganda Stand up comedy or whatever. As luck would have it, and mine is usually of the bad variety, the subject of our discussion somehow ended up on what we found attractive at which point, she smacked my butt lightly and said, "You have no ass man. I need a dude to have some meat".

For a skinny guy, the reminder that you are in fact rail thin is not something you take lightly, because at 17 all you want is to look like Wesley Snipes-body not face, Sorry Wesley- and not be reminded about that pole you see in the mirror daily. But as luck has it,the son of man eventually does grow older and metabolisms slow down and shirts begin to fill out more and you feel as though this new found mass lends an element of gravity, or gravitas to your person. Over the course of 10 years, I've gone from 78-100 kg. That's 12 kilos right there which is about over  a kilo a year, but realistically most of it came on the tail end of my time abroad and back home.

I am comfortable with my body. When I don't like some thing  about it, I find it's best to get off your ass, the ass being usually the problem, and just do something about it. So when i started noticing my body start to jiggle a few more seconds than usual after I had made a jump, I took up P90X and regular working out. and boy did it work. Added a full 5 kg of muscle and had that joyous moment when people would hug you and pause for a moment on your arms and chest.

However, after spending a few months at home, I reduced my exercise plan and just enjoyed life. then one day I noticed the hilarious jokes start-Man, nga there's more of you than before-chuckles. Joel, man, what in the world are you eating?Or the very subtle-Gwe man, yo fat-which in Ugandan speak just means you're not skinny anymore. I decided to count the number of comments one day and they were 15. When 15 use the same joke when discussing your appearance, you know there's something amiss and that there are very few imaginative, funny people in the world.

The great thing about being guys is you just call each other out on shit. Hey fat ass, get to the gym is enough to motivate you to get back to working out and losing that gut. For this I'm thankful for, because if people just let me be, I may just get comfortable and one day wake up and  i can't see my toes or any other vital extremities ;-)

So for the last month, I've been back on P90X and regular cardio and weights. It's tough but it feels great, my stamina is back to where it was last year. Maybe it's growing older but the weight doesn't shed as easy, and it's going to be a lifetime of discipline and hard work and using the foulest language each morning and every other evening, but i'm going to get there.

I'll keep up updates of the fight. the few highs and the many lows and what not. Watch out Wesley Snipes, first because you're in prison and someone is definitely going to test you-"Don't drop the soap homie" and also, here comes Joel Anthony-the black Adonis, the new blade. Watch this space!!