Warts And All

Warts and all-A look at the sides of me that I'd rather not see

: Part 1-The hilarious story meltdown


When you're in the middle of telling your hilarious story and you realize that your audience is beginning to look as excited as they'd be  watching paint dry and pre-punchline giggles aren't forthcoming;  It's at this point that you :
a) Cook up a few embellishments and re-writes in an effort to make the story funnier(Very bad idea)

b) Just bulldoze your way to the end of the story and then awkwardly mumble something about having to leave, then go weep in the corridor

C)_Just tell everyone you're an alcoholic. All will be forgiven

I usually would say it's best to just face up and endure the awkwardness like a pro but waahhh, I'm a tough guy. I am descended from tough men, My grandfather once fought a cow. Read that sentence again. He fought a cow and lived to speak of it. I am sure that the gene for bravery in times of bovine aggression can be used when a story is fast falling off the track. My father was a boxer. I will not retreat in the face of impending disaster.

So far I'd say my improvisational skills have aided me and many times a story that seemed destined for the highlight reel of awful moments in my life was diverted and turned into an awesome experience of rib cracking laughter and back patting all in slow motion. However, this  does not happen as often as I'd like and there have been times when doing the improve in an effort to improve led to disaster.

So what happens is I usually end up doing some sort of juke and jive like some sorta comical minstrel who needs to induce funny movements to suddenly make the rubbish coming out of my mouth mildly amusing.  It's harrowing and it's on these moments that I truly loathe myself and my need to safe face. My need to not be embarrassed which has ironically catalyzed my embarrassment.

I always promise never to do it again and then I make the same promise again after doing it, then again, and again, and again.

However, I've learned that there's another way. A secret option D. Which is just face up and acknowledge the dryness of the tale and then proceed. Well that's if anyone is still listening. I've done it 3 times now and it's worked like a charm. who'd have thought honesty actually works. Maybe I'm growing up. Maybe my embarrassment is no longer the end of the world. Maybe I'm just rumbling now. But it's okay..because I'm an alcoholic. Forgive me!!!!!