An Amateur Stalker (Yet to be critically acclaimed story)
They say satisfaction is the death of passion. They say a lot of things I don't particularly agree with but this one does ring true for me. I especially remember this one girl I really liked that I just couldn't seem to make any head way with. She was the kind of girl you would read about in a novel or something Legs for days, big brown eyes and she didn't walk so much as glide across the ground, effortlessly like some sort of divine being. She was hot and so out of my league.
Like any young lad hopped up on that dangerous cocktail of drugs nature cooks up at the cusp of our pre-pubescence would do, I made my advances. At first with subtlety. Well I say subtlety, but how subtle can a 1 year old teenage boy be about his intentions with a young lady. Still, I did the whole hide roses in her desk so she could be surprised, or engineer it such that when she was on her way to class, I would be standing in the door way doing my best impression of a stud just chilling. Just flexing all 2cm of my biceps. that she never flinched was beyond me.
The seduction stepped up when I walked her home one day. I say walked her home but what I believe only one of us was actually aware that this walk back to her abode was a shared experience. Don't you dare judge me. I was not stalking her, I just wanted to make sure she got home safe. Suffice it to say, she noticed I was heading to her side of town , the opposite direction of where I resided.
My goose was cooked. I was nabbed. I was finished. They'd start calling me Stalker Joe's. I'd have to make up some stupid reason to have my parents remove me from this school. Perhaps I could say i beat someone up really badly and didn't trust myself being around anymore without hurting anyone. They would surely buy this line of bull..."Wait, she's smiling. she's walking over. Good lord, here it comes. ".
I try to look innocent. I was bewildered. Nonplussed even. Which probably meant I looked guilty as hell. I was standing right by a supermarket and thought about running inside to purchase whatever my 500 shs could get me.
"Are you following me?"
"Huh?"..I say in an effort to stave off having to explain my actions for all of 3 seconds. I needed to think. But all I could think of was how my life as a stalker was going to unfurl. I'd be an outcast, my mother would hang her head in shame at the mention of my name. I'd have to get a job as a lorry driver or something.
"Yo following me nawe?kyoka you boy. I've been seeing you!!"
"No..I um..argh." What followed was a steady procession of mumbled words I haven't the faintest clue meant anything other than "please don't scream right now"
She laughs and tells me to come buy her some gummy bears. I oblige. But freak, my last 500 shs. Now I will have to walk home. I join the long list of men through history that have poured out the contents of their wallets for a pretty lady.
We walk and awkwardly talk. She's quite boyish in her mannerisms. She punches me when she makes a joke. She chews rather loudly and she has an accent, an affectation I had not noticed before. She speaks English like a Musoga. Now nothing against the Basoga, lord knows they're piled on like the butt of Ugandan jokes(And we all know how Ugandans loved Butts), but when she said things like "Dat" for that, or "De people", for the people or demonstrate for..well, that one was well said, but still, I was starting to question everything.
My stomach felt empty in a bad way. I t was nearing 6 pm and I had to go back home. My hormones had decided to be all timid and well mannered all of a sudden. The fuckers. Like that friend that gets you to do something stupid and then in the middle of it begin to look down at you with disdain like, "Dude, what are you doing?Seriously"!! Now I was looking at this angel fallen down to earth, this shiny object of my lust and affection suddenly become a real person.
All those time she glided by, I only saw grace and didn't see her laugh like a wild woman. Didn't see hear her speak more than the required words to answer a question in class. The reality skewed far left of my fantasy. I didn't know how I felt.
Then it happened. She hugged me. Then she gave me a quick kiss on the lips and said she would see me the next day. She would sit with me at lunch.
How I did not pass out was beyond me. I just watched her walk up to her gate. Stay there for what seemed an eternity looking back now and then with a faint smile. Then she pulled out one of the roses I had given her just as the gate was opened and she disappeared behind it. Perhaps my moves had worked. I'd gotten a kiss and a hug which is HUGE for a 12 year old boy..heck it's huge for a 30 year old man!But the point is it had happened. What I'd wanted had happened.
The sun was in it's reddish yellow phase and the darkness was near as I walked hurriedly to my home sure that a verbal lashing would be waiting for me there. I should have been happy and giddy. In some ways I was, but in others I felt like something had gotten lost. I didn't have that urge I used to have to get a flower for her, to stare and dream of the what ifs. The image of the girl I'd had in mind was shattered. She didn't exist. She wasn't a pristine little flower. She was more like a thorny rose bush. And her conversation was rather boring..and I had to sit through this again at lunch.
I try to shake it off. I'm having lunch with her tomorrow. It's something I've always desired and here it was. Why the heck didn't I feel as excited as I thought?
To be continued
Like any young lad hopped up on that dangerous cocktail of drugs nature cooks up at the cusp of our pre-pubescence would do, I made my advances. At first with subtlety. Well I say subtlety, but how subtle can a 1 year old teenage boy be about his intentions with a young lady. Still, I did the whole hide roses in her desk so she could be surprised, or engineer it such that when she was on her way to class, I would be standing in the door way doing my best impression of a stud just chilling. Just flexing all 2cm of my biceps. that she never flinched was beyond me.
The seduction stepped up when I walked her home one day. I say walked her home but what I believe only one of us was actually aware that this walk back to her abode was a shared experience. Don't you dare judge me. I was not stalking her, I just wanted to make sure she got home safe. Suffice it to say, she noticed I was heading to her side of town , the opposite direction of where I resided.
My goose was cooked. I was nabbed. I was finished. They'd start calling me Stalker Joe's. I'd have to make up some stupid reason to have my parents remove me from this school. Perhaps I could say i beat someone up really badly and didn't trust myself being around anymore without hurting anyone. They would surely buy this line of bull..."Wait, she's smiling. she's walking over. Good lord, here it comes. ".
I try to look innocent. I was bewildered. Nonplussed even. Which probably meant I looked guilty as hell. I was standing right by a supermarket and thought about running inside to purchase whatever my 500 shs could get me.
"Are you following me?"
"Huh?"..I say in an effort to stave off having to explain my actions for all of 3 seconds. I needed to think. But all I could think of was how my life as a stalker was going to unfurl. I'd be an outcast, my mother would hang her head in shame at the mention of my name. I'd have to get a job as a lorry driver or something.
"Yo following me nawe?kyoka you boy. I've been seeing you!!"
"No..I um..argh." What followed was a steady procession of mumbled words I haven't the faintest clue meant anything other than "please don't scream right now"
She laughs and tells me to come buy her some gummy bears. I oblige. But freak, my last 500 shs. Now I will have to walk home. I join the long list of men through history that have poured out the contents of their wallets for a pretty lady.
We walk and awkwardly talk. She's quite boyish in her mannerisms. She punches me when she makes a joke. She chews rather loudly and she has an accent, an affectation I had not noticed before. She speaks English like a Musoga. Now nothing against the Basoga, lord knows they're piled on like the butt of Ugandan jokes(And we all know how Ugandans loved Butts), but when she said things like "Dat" for that, or "De people", for the people or demonstrate for..well, that one was well said, but still, I was starting to question everything.
My stomach felt empty in a bad way. I t was nearing 6 pm and I had to go back home. My hormones had decided to be all timid and well mannered all of a sudden. The fuckers. Like that friend that gets you to do something stupid and then in the middle of it begin to look down at you with disdain like, "Dude, what are you doing?Seriously"!! Now I was looking at this angel fallen down to earth, this shiny object of my lust and affection suddenly become a real person.
All those time she glided by, I only saw grace and didn't see her laugh like a wild woman. Didn't see hear her speak more than the required words to answer a question in class. The reality skewed far left of my fantasy. I didn't know how I felt.
Then it happened. She hugged me. Then she gave me a quick kiss on the lips and said she would see me the next day. She would sit with me at lunch.
How I did not pass out was beyond me. I just watched her walk up to her gate. Stay there for what seemed an eternity looking back now and then with a faint smile. Then she pulled out one of the roses I had given her just as the gate was opened and she disappeared behind it. Perhaps my moves had worked. I'd gotten a kiss and a hug which is HUGE for a 12 year old boy..heck it's huge for a 30 year old man!But the point is it had happened. What I'd wanted had happened.
The sun was in it's reddish yellow phase and the darkness was near as I walked hurriedly to my home sure that a verbal lashing would be waiting for me there. I should have been happy and giddy. In some ways I was, but in others I felt like something had gotten lost. I didn't have that urge I used to have to get a flower for her, to stare and dream of the what ifs. The image of the girl I'd had in mind was shattered. She didn't exist. She wasn't a pristine little flower. She was more like a thorny rose bush. And her conversation was rather boring..and I had to sit through this again at lunch.
I try to shake it off. I'm having lunch with her tomorrow. It's something I've always desired and here it was. Why the heck didn't I feel as excited as I thought?
To be continued
Comments